How You Feel Meeting A Good Guy After Disappointed Relationships

source: newhopecounselling.com

Have you ever been in "an almost relationship"? Perhaps, are you asking what's an almost relationship; a relationship is a relationship. Well, a relationship is a relationship. But in an almost relationship, things seem to be very perfect between the couple whereas things aren't exactly as they seem to be. Therefore, being in "an almost" relationship can no doubt have your head been messed up.


In an almost relationship, you’ll be reading signals that might not even be. Investing time and energy into someone who you’re not even sure if the future holds something for both. Perhaps, uncertainty and mixed signals shouldn’t be a sign to try harder. Thus, is easy to fail to realize when we end up in "an almost" relationships, whereas the amount of time, emotion and energy we waste on someone who is never going to be who we need could be avoided.

Don't be afraid to walk away or think it's your job to prove you deserve the time and attention of the other person like their love is something to compete for. Real relationships don't require all of that from you. It's always simple. If you aren’t used to any of those things, it throws you off finally meeting a good guy. That's why you should read this article and know some of the things that happens when you meet a good guy.

1. When the good guy tells you how he feel and you don’t believe him. Why? Though it's not that you don’t trust him. You actually trust him, and he has not done anything to you. It's just simply because when people in the past have used words to further relationships physically, you stop believing what people say.

2. The sex is totally different. There is a vital part of you that misses emotionally when you’re having sex with someone you aren’t dating. Because sex is not just about something physical. Is beyond the physical. Hence, when you devalue sex in relationships regardless of how the relationship is defined, the experience changes. Apparently, you put up a wall subconsciously to protect yourself. But when it’s a real relationship, suddenly everything comes together and you realise; this is what it should have been like all the while.

3. You feel guilty for needing validation. Meeting a good guy after an almost relationship, doubts cross your mind still. Though it’s okay to need validation. Needing certain things in a relationship doesn’t mean you are asking too much. Yes, I mean it does not mean you're asking too much. Wanting to be confident in someone does not make you weak. Hence, if someone makes you feel like you’re asking too much it isn’t the question that needs to change but rather the person you are asking.

4. You’re so unbelievably guarded. It’s okay to be scared; thus, is only a stupid person who does not feel scared. We value the things we want but have never had before. However, sometimes we have to settle hoping we could change how someone feels about us. Hoping we could change the relationship. If "an almost" relationship taught you anything it’s the importance of valuing something real when you find it. Yeah! It’s going to take time to trust someone when others in the past have hurt you but the right person is not in a rush.

5. You worry completely too much; then realise you don’t have to. Where you once used to analyze every move you made and every mixed signal or false assumption? Where social media acted as some pawn in this game, you'll realise how simple it should have been. Apparently, because the right guy answers your texts quickly. The right guy keeps his word. The right guy adds confidence to the doubt you might have to yourself or him.

6. Constantly you're waiting for something to suddenly change. You watch him closely analysing everything. Maybe as time and distance separate both of you, suddenly his feelings will change. Maybe after the sex, the slow fade will become a reality. Maybe he will just stop answering like others had answered in the past. You anticipate the worst because you want to manage your expectations and not to be let down. Regardless, he has not disappointed you or let you down or given you any indication that you can’t trust him.

7. You swear this is too good to be true. You think just because you have not had this before you do not deserve it. But you do. Who says it's eventually not going to happen to or for you? You invested a lot in others who did not deserve you, now it’s time for you to experience someone who does.

8. You push him away when he gets too close. At his touch, your walls suddenly and completely crumble. This then scares the shit out of you. Suddenly you’re telling him things you have not even said out loud. Consequently, he does not take off running; like you expect he just holds you close and you feel safe.

9. Something simple and honest throws you off. When all you have known is "an almost" relationships, you’re used to someone spitting lies on you, and at the same time telling you what you want to hear. Thus, it gets to a point where your ears grow mute. However, this is different because here’s someone who has not deceived you or lied to you.

10. Suddenly you become more confident in him. Therefore you forgot what it was like to be confident in someone. Though he is someone talking about the future, dates and months from now; you were thinking about people in the past who could not even commit to coffee a week in advance. Then, you think back to what it felt like to always be waiting for someone and always to be disappointed at last. Notwithstanding, this time it’s different.

11. You start to end other lingering relationships for good. You're fading out of each other’s lives; then you come back every so often because you can. Hence, suddenly you meet this good man and you want nothing to do with ghosts from your past who come knocking just to see if you’ll answer. However, being used to an almost relationships makes them hard compared to real relationships is the lack of clarity within it. So something can’t end if it does not begin in the first place.

12. You feel guilty playing the comparison game. It’s normal to compare someone you might have known for a while. "An almost" relationships establish an emotional connection that you cannot deny being there. So you get to know someone at a very deep level. And sometimes you fall in love with these people knowing very well nothing will come of the feelings.

Therefore, when you get into a real relationship with a stranger, suddenly you’re comparing the person you don’t know to someone you came to fall very hard for. Take their best qualities. Use that as a standard. But also understand the greatest difference between this person standing in front of you and the one you sometimes think about is what they were willing to do which wasn’t anything other than lead you on.

13. You realise he blows everyone away. In time, as you get to know this person better as scary as it might be, what you’ll realise that despite their flaws and shortcomings they became exactly what you needed while everyone else stood there not stepping up to the game.

14. Finally, the good guy teaches what love and a healthy relationship actually are real. Suddenly you learn those "an almost" relationships and things that lingered were just something to occupy time and attention and space in your heart. Something that left you empty. Because when it’s a real relationship it makes you twice the person you are and you don’t have to compromise your self-respect to get it when someone is meeting you halfway.

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